JUNE 2020

June 6, 2020 Gratefulness

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Theo bought Eeyore, the last remaining kitten. When I moved here nearly 3 months ago, she was very shy and kept hiding and running away when she sees me. Now she is very affectionate, plays a lot, talks (meows) a lot! and loves to be brushed especially in her tummy. She must be very afraid moving into a new home now. And Pica must be so sad with no more playmate and none of her kids left except for baby tummy. I’m gonna miss Eeyore but maybe it’s for the best that she will have her own home and people will love her a lot. 

A DMCI leasing agent told me that they were able to lease unit for 12 months at 5K a month. Contract signing will be on Tuesday, June 9. It is so unexpected! I asked and we have requested it for leasing on April 2016, more than 4 years ago! Haha. Finally at this time when I was actively promoting it and thinking about it. I guess it’s the power of focus and positivity and having faith, just like law of attraction, prayers, and meditation.

MS & Lotto June 12

So I’ve sold more than half of the bottles last week, and will sell the rest again this week. 🙂 I’m happy I’m disposing of more items now. And I have a ready buyer for Mastersiomai too. Finally I can sell it and be free of my obligations. I just want to be free to travel and be with Gurneek. By next year, I’m done. And it’s been so many years I’ve been closing and closing and I’m not yet done.

I received a Php3K for lotto calamity aid the other day. Happy to receive some money. ANd yesterday I received a text informing me they rejected my application for the citibank cashback credit card. Must be because I’ve been closing my credit cards so much the past year. It’s ok. I’m ok with 1 cc. God made it easy for me to decide and manage my finances. 


DISPOSE – June 21

I have been in the mood for disposing items again. I finally sold the 14 cases of cobra baseo to CTL and Papa helped at 80 pesos per case. I am happy. 

The contract of Canyon yesterday didn’t work out. But I sold my oven toaster, my towel rack, and sorted my things to send to Virac.  And finally decided on virac buyer of mastersiomai to cancel. I don’t want to deal with her anymore.

I only have my 4 boxes and 3 luggages of things that I need to sort and clean.  I am getting ready for my move to India. I just need to be ready. 

Just to finish mastersiomai, lotto, and  real estate, and taxes. I will be finished soon. 🙂

Thought I feel like I’ve been going around this in circles. That I’ve been at this for many a few years now and yet not done. Sold my stuff, moved to Manila, rented a place and bought stuff, and now back to Condo and sold my stuff again. 

June 28 – JUNE IS MY MONTH

Well, work didn’t turn out to be so bad as I was thinking. Or at least I got it over with. And we managed to sell so many things this month! Eeyore / grey kitten (even though I really didn’t want her to leave 😦 but I know it’s for the best), rented out P2 parking, sold all the cases of softdrink bottles/baseos, excess dorm stuff (towel rack, oven toaster, trash can, electric cooker), Salvatore sunglasses, lotto signage, and finally Mastersiomai!!! 😀

Hopefully in July I can finish Sunlife coding and sell! and start selling financial services and other stuff here in Sorrel. And rent out Canyon Ranch too.

Thanks be to God!

As to cc payment, it is nearly finished! Only Php12K left!

July 1

Got the mastersiomai cart sold yesterday finally. Finished with MS. Just cart delivery and payment from buyer. I just wanted it all done. And I need to do lotto too, and the houses, and everything else.

I am so bothered lately, and distracted that I cannot focus on work.

Dec 27

I spent the last 4 days dec 24-27 watching movies, doing my counselling letter, and my RFP paper n presentation. Finally done today!!! Still not 100% confident but it is complete. I am gonna try just to see their response then i will revise.

I was in despair when i wrote here nov 11 2018. Then the next day i met Gurneek. I never realized it that time because i didn’t look back. I didnt write anything but after a month.

I should write here more. Easier to see the past.

May 19

I cooked a noodle soup, cleaned my emails and phone, didnt have much worries except taxes and money as usual.

I showed fairways yesterday to 1 potential tenant, hopefully they get it.

Im thankful for attending the fiesta at condo yesterday, it was ok and a bit fun.

I’m thankful for friends and Gurneek who gives good advices. I am not getting an MBA but rather just clean up my life.

I’m happy my life is getting more normal and routine these days. A bit more settled now.

Old ramblings

Gurneek Singh

⁃ No msgs except for trip

⁃ No greetings

⁃ Stick to my words

⁃ Be kind, patient, no anger issues

⁃ Do not order him around–> let him take the direction and pace of the relationship, wait for him to come around and give him space and back off. Dont come as too intense and passionate. Let him chase.

Would i be happy with someone who doesnt want to be with me? Who didnt even think of me during valentines? Where im always wrong and had to keep apologizing?

Today he made it clear i cannot expect anything from him, and he doesnt want to do anything with me. That i cannot hope for anything more. And if im ok with that? Or will i feel worse after the trip?

I told him i know its a risk that im willing to take. To meet him once, and maybe not hear from him again.

He is still angry, blinded with everything, and stressed about the trip, that he’d rather cancel and not see me. He clarified again that we have nothing together and there never will be, even after the trip. He chose to remind me of all the times he made it clear we are just friends and that he pushed me to date other people. But I remembered the good and sweet things when he ahsked if we can be a couple.

Im making excuses for him now- that he was just stressed about the passport, that i might not like him when we meet, all the planning for the trip. He is afraid of being taken advantaged of. He is probably afraid of being in love and hurt again. I just want to assure him it’ll be better if we work on those issues together.

At this point everyone is mostly damaged- traumatized, has issues, etc. Maybe he drinks out of boredom and loneliness. He makes me want to become a better person. And i want to help him too, on his own terms.

Maybe all these fights are coming because we dont know what we want from each other. Or insecurities about my achievements— no.

Maybe we wont even like each other when we meet anyway

⁃ visa fee waived to thailand, passport arrived 1 wk before trip, my bday, his study and exam after trip

March 9

Yesterday, march 9- He brushed, dried, and tied up my hair.

He kissed me a lot at random times.

He has been hugging me a lot and so tight, he doesnt want to let me go. He’s massaging my body all the time.

We have plenty of selfies and photos, even bathrobe twinnies.

He always wanted to know that i’m happy and having fun.

He takes care of me.

He is considering a trip on september for his birthday.

—–

Sad moments:

– He said this is the first and last time we will meet.

– He said we already talked about this.

– He said he asked me before if ill be ok after trip and that i said ill be ok and deal with it later. I am not ok.

– His words seem cold and cruel at times, and only told me today that he will miss me. But his actions show he loves me.

Thailand 2019

Somehow i cried a little because i’ll miss him so, but i have faith we will see each other soon.

There is so much of life ahead of us. So much change and everything just seems to fall into place. He is starting classes tom and ill start a new job tom. I am very happy we had a great trip. I cant believe we look totally opposite but our personalities complement each other so well. We understand each other, and think alike on most things there is barely any disagreement and we get on with life easily. It is the most relaxing trip/vacation i’ve ever had. I didnt have to worry so much, and we trust each other to pick up the slack of the other person.

Somehow im always calm, happy, and contented with him, and it shows in our photos.

It was the best birthday and best trip i’ve ever had. I can feel that he loves me, cares for me, and will miss me. I know he hasnt processed his emotions yet, and has no idea how to deal with it and fight for us, but ill wait until he makes up his mind. It will hit him harder later.

Chat

So we havent been messaging but just occassional text re trip. He responds fast, just within a minute. I guess earlier he was overwhelmed with all my messages and thoughts and plans and my crazy life. I wonder if he even misses me.

So the past 2.5-3 wks we havent really communicated:

– sold 1 cat- tiny , baby pica black batch 1

– turnover of 1 condo unit

– installed 2 cctvs- cabugao and shopbox

– approved 5 schematic plans

– pcab amo seminar and exam and passed

– photobook for LGU

– donated stuff to myela/charity

2 months later

We are still chatting and calling everyday. I guess we just made it work somehow.

I was pissed off at him the past 2 days, and today i told him i want a break. He said no, he wont give me a break. He asked for it last time and i didnt give it to him, so he wont give me a break too. I said i can give it now. He doesnt want one, and he wont. I am so glad he didnt give me one today.